What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The Olympian is in my bed
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
