the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
