I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I can't turn off my feet"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
