WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
