Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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