I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize