Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
