And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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