You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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