If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
