Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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