office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
