What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
