Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
