Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
