This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My ass is underappreciated
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
