At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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