I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just want to make out with him forever
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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