Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
sex in a hospital.. check
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize