Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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