forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize