I wanna passion pit in your ass
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
