your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
