Is it normal to miss your booty call?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
