I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
