then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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