Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
