Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
