Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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