all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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