I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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