Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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