Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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