A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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