When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
