And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my mouth tastes like poor choices
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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