Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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