Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
