don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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