If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Randomize