: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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