I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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