The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
