Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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