Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
