She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
