i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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