can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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