it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We are all done wearing pants today
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
