There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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