dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
