Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
