shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
