Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
