Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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