He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
