I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize