i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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