you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
